Quickies
One of the small pleasures in life – accepting a free ticket in exchange for a later flight, only to see the original flight be delayed.
How to hide a valuable laptop – in a (“genuine Italian-style”) pizza box. This would be more realistic with grease stains. Also note, as Cult of Mac points out, this will be more convincing if you carry it horizontally – it always looks suspicious when you carry a pizza tucked under your arm.
Saddam Hussein had, among other items in his tacky collection, a gold-plated AK-47.